It’s so painful to be alive, I don’t want to live and I don’t want to die.
I met another boy and we fell in love, floated through the streets, fell into linen sheets.
I broke his heart before I could blink twice.
Maybe I’m trying too hard to be the good guy. Am I ever good enough? what defines good enough? Enough. Enough. Enough..
I’m better now and I’m too scared to let it stay this way, let it go, let it be, let it grow. I am afraid nobody will ever know me. Old friends watch me bleed and new friends set my soul free.
Fear is a choice, unspoken pain only knows how to grow. I’m f*&k#d up in the head from that night, I’ll never be the same, I f*&k#d a bunch of men, I don’t even know their names. I take another shot and I keep dancing. I am nothing or I am everything, my mind playing tricks on me pushing me to my lowest.
I want to do all the wrong things but keep fighting with the right things, sometimes all the good things make me feel next to nothing. Floating through success and undoing failure.
I’m sick of wanting and wishing. I’m ready to hold something.
Everything is as will be, now I am much greater than I once were. watch as I flourish brighter again and again and again.
Every beginning is born from an ending.
